11.27.2003
From the Nov. 17, 2003 issue of The New Yorker, compliments of brother-dearest:
"Friendly question: 'Sir, although your supporters' predictions that Iraqis would greet our troops with flowers haven't been borne out, isn't it possible that, given the problems with the water supply and the infrastructure in general, there is a serious shortage of flowers over there and that Iraqis might be greeting our troops with flowers if Iraqis had any flowers?'
"Follow-up question to friendly question: 'Mr. President, in your budget for the reconstruction of Iraq, is there any money specifically earmarked for rebuilding the Iraqi cut-flower industry, and, if so, would any American company be able to bid on that contract, or would they have to go through your friend Joe Allbaugh's consulting firm?'
"Zen question: 'Sir, if the ability of the Star Wars ABMs to hit a nuclear missile is imaginary and the nuclear missiles in Iraq are imaginary, does that mean a Star Wars ABM could hit an Iraqi nuclear missile?'
"Follow-up question to Zen question if answer is yes: 'How could that be verified?'
"Follow-up question to Zen question if answer is no: 'Would you consider that justification for having gone to war against Iraq?'
"Strategic-planning question: 'Sir, now that you've acknowledged that there was never any evidence of Iraqi involvement in the September 11th attacks by Al Qaeda, does it remain your policy that in the event of any future Al Qaeda attack against this country we would still retaliate against Iraq, and, if so, how would you avoid hitting our own troops?'
"Follow-up question to strategic-planning question: 'If not, then did you have some other country in mind to retaliate against?'
"Coalition question: 'Is Bulgaria still part of the coalition, and, if so, what have they done for us lately?'
"Follow-up question depending on answer to coalition question: 'Would you encourage the American people to drink more Bulgarian wine?'
"Follow-up question depending on answer to coalition question: 'Would you encourage the American people to boycott Bulgarian wines, and, if so, do you know of any French wines that might make a good substitute?'
"Second Zen question: 'If, as you've said, Mr. President, the interim report stating that no weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq justifies our having gone to war to remove weapons of mass destruction, what would a report stating that weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq justify, if you know?'
"Alternative to friendly question: 'Sir, do you think that the flowers with which your Administration said Iraqis would greet our troops will ever be found?'
"Follow-up to alternative to friendly question if answer is yes: 'Then would that justify having gone to war with Iraq?'
"Follow-up to alternative to friendly question if answer is no: 'Then would that justify having gone to war with Iraq?'
"Somewhat off-the-wall question: 'Speaking of Iraq and Al Qaeda, sir, do you think it's fair that Arabs don't have to use a 'u' after a 'q'?'
"Follow-up to somewhat off-the-wall question if answer is no: 'Then would that justify having gone to war with Iraq?'"
"Friendly question: 'Sir, although your supporters' predictions that Iraqis would greet our troops with flowers haven't been borne out, isn't it possible that, given the problems with the water supply and the infrastructure in general, there is a serious shortage of flowers over there and that Iraqis might be greeting our troops with flowers if Iraqis had any flowers?'
"Follow-up question to friendly question: 'Mr. President, in your budget for the reconstruction of Iraq, is there any money specifically earmarked for rebuilding the Iraqi cut-flower industry, and, if so, would any American company be able to bid on that contract, or would they have to go through your friend Joe Allbaugh's consulting firm?'
"Zen question: 'Sir, if the ability of the Star Wars ABMs to hit a nuclear missile is imaginary and the nuclear missiles in Iraq are imaginary, does that mean a Star Wars ABM could hit an Iraqi nuclear missile?'
"Follow-up question to Zen question if answer is yes: 'How could that be verified?'
"Follow-up question to Zen question if answer is no: 'Would you consider that justification for having gone to war against Iraq?'
"Strategic-planning question: 'Sir, now that you've acknowledged that there was never any evidence of Iraqi involvement in the September 11th attacks by Al Qaeda, does it remain your policy that in the event of any future Al Qaeda attack against this country we would still retaliate against Iraq, and, if so, how would you avoid hitting our own troops?'
"Follow-up question to strategic-planning question: 'If not, then did you have some other country in mind to retaliate against?'
"Coalition question: 'Is Bulgaria still part of the coalition, and, if so, what have they done for us lately?'
"Follow-up question depending on answer to coalition question: 'Would you encourage the American people to drink more Bulgarian wine?'
"Follow-up question depending on answer to coalition question: 'Would you encourage the American people to boycott Bulgarian wines, and, if so, do you know of any French wines that might make a good substitute?'
"Second Zen question: 'If, as you've said, Mr. President, the interim report stating that no weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq justifies our having gone to war to remove weapons of mass destruction, what would a report stating that weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq justify, if you know?'
"Alternative to friendly question: 'Sir, do you think that the flowers with which your Administration said Iraqis would greet our troops will ever be found?'
"Follow-up to alternative to friendly question if answer is yes: 'Then would that justify having gone to war with Iraq?'
"Follow-up to alternative to friendly question if answer is no: 'Then would that justify having gone to war with Iraq?'
"Somewhat off-the-wall question: 'Speaking of Iraq and Al Qaeda, sir, do you think it's fair that Arabs don't have to use a 'u' after a 'q'?'
"Follow-up to somewhat off-the-wall question if answer is no: 'Then would that justify having gone to war with Iraq?'"
11.26.2003
"The highest rates of depression occur among those recently divorced or separated. Married women are more depressed than nonmarried women. In contrast, married men are less depressed than unmarried men." (Kneisl et al, Contemporary Psychiatric-Mental Health Nursing, p 121)
Hmm. Ladies, looks like we're outta luck.
Hmm. Ladies, looks like we're outta luck.
11.18.2003
"'Look at them. There are your true philosophers. I think,' he went on, 'that Mack and the boys know everything that has ever happened in the world and possibly everything that will happen. I think they survive in this particular world better than other people. In a time when people tear themselves to pieces with ambition and nervousness and covetousness, they are relaxed. All of our so-called successful men are sick men, with bad stomachs, and bad souls, but Mack and the boys are healthy and curiously clean. They can do what they want. They can satisfy their appetites without calling them something else.'
"'They could get it,' Doc said. 'They could ruin their lives and get money. Mack has qualities of genius. They're all very clever if they want something. They just know the nature of things too well to be caught in that wanting.'"
John Steinbeck, Cannery Row
"'They could get it,' Doc said. 'They could ruin their lives and get money. Mack has qualities of genius. They're all very clever if they want something. They just know the nature of things too well to be caught in that wanting.'"
John Steinbeck, Cannery Row
11.12.2003
I swear they're on a schedule. Or have to maintain a quota of sorts.
Every evening, the girls upstairs scream - no, scream is not the word...they shriek - like banshees. Blood-curdling. A passerby's ears would be piqued as it sounds like torture is being executed in the annals of a ghetto house's thin walls.
Annoyance is not an issue. Instead, a curiousity fills me, almost drives me to tap on their door and take a peek into the goings-on of apartment three.
I wonder...is it a mutual delight that drives these three girls to high-pitched insanity? Or does the constant appearance of some macabre ghost fill their hearts with fear?
I don't know. The answer intrigues me. But my imagination fills the void of not knowing...
Every evening, the girls upstairs scream - no, scream is not the word...they shriek - like banshees. Blood-curdling. A passerby's ears would be piqued as it sounds like torture is being executed in the annals of a ghetto house's thin walls.
Annoyance is not an issue. Instead, a curiousity fills me, almost drives me to tap on their door and take a peek into the goings-on of apartment three.
I wonder...is it a mutual delight that drives these three girls to high-pitched insanity? Or does the constant appearance of some macabre ghost fill their hearts with fear?
I don't know. The answer intrigues me. But my imagination fills the void of not knowing...
